On why you should boycott Livingsocial…

Who doesn’t love a discount?? Especially if it’s for an expensive fine dining restaurant which you would normally have to save for special occasions! Well let me tell you why the discount isn’t worth it. …Last year we dined with a friend at Moo Moo’s Restaurant located at the Port Office, Stamford Plaza, Edward Street, Brisbane. We had a very good meal (Thanks Tammy) and vowed to return again. So it was only appropriate that when we saw the livingsocial deal online advertising for the following that our friend Terry purchased x2 $70 LivingSocial Vouchers….

The first time we used this voucher….we already felt as if we were treated as second-rate citizens. When I rang through to make a booking..the staff at Moo Moo informed me that we could not reserve an earlier sitting, and that “people with vouchers” must dine after 8pm. Okay…so we went and ate there…..and the rump was more than mediocre. We were introduced to a few upgraded options and were persuaded into purchasing more sides…Anyway that was the prequel to this full blown rant that I’m about to embark on….So the deadline was coming up this evening…and we had been calling Moo Moo for over a week to try and secure a booking.

On this particular evening (hop into the time machine and rewind to yesterday)….I phoned expecting nothing but the worst.

Staff: Moo Moo restaurant please hold *3 minute hold* Pause….please wait while I transfer your call to the  maître d‘hôtel. Another 4 minutes later….the phone drops and they have conveniently avoided me again by hanging up on me.

All I had said was that I wanted to make a booking for dinner on April 19.

When I did finally call through and speak to this almighty Maitre D (henceforth known as Almighty asshole for the purposes of venting my frustration)….it went something like this:

Chad: “Hi I would like to make a reservation for 4 people tomorrow”
Almighty Asshole: Certainly.  We have a sitting at 8pm available. Do you have a voucher?”
Chad: “Yes, it is a living social…..” *rude interjection by the Maitre D*

Almighty Asshole: “Sorry we don’t have any seats for people with vouchers.
Chad:  “How does that work? You have seats…but not for people with vouchers?”
Almighty Asshole: Well we have 133 people coming in to use vouchers tomorrow, everyone wants a seat tomorrow with a voucher. It’s not just you okay?”
Chad: “So you’ve oversold the amount of tickets for which you have capacity for….????? What am I meant to do? I’ve already paid for my voucher!”
Almighty Asshole: “It’s not our problem. Call livingsocial”
Chad: “okay…and there’s nothing you can do about it?”
Almighty Asshole *beep* ….hangs up the phone.

So the next part of the story…is that I called up Livingsocial and spoke with a man named Christian. I know that there is no use in trying to shoot the messenger…and that he is a normal guy..trying to get on with his job…but I was really peeved and really needed to yell at someone. Christian explained to me that the restaurant has the “discretion to allocate seats to a particular volume of customers with vouchers per day”. So technically, they have the discretion to refuse to serve ANY customers with vouchers on ANY and EVERY given day that the offer is valid for. This was confirmed by Christian, who added that “Moo moo only gets paid for every voucher that is USED”. But what incentive is it? For a fine dining restaurant to receive a portion of $70 for 4 people breathing their oxygen, peeing in their toilets, playing with their Dyson hand-dryers….and eating inferior meat?? When on a regular day, people would pay much more than $70 just for a serving of mains for dinner? Christian also mentioned to me that an investigation into the matter would not be possible as it is too close to the expiration date of the voucher (which is synonymous with the termination of their contract with Moo Moo). WTF?!  So anyone who happens to miss out on a booking near the end of the deal...TOO BAD? GO EAT YOUR PRINTED OUT VOUCHER AND PRETEND IT’S A PIECE OF RUMP?! In 3 working days we will see if they will be clever enough to honour us a refund.

This is not fair. This is plain ridiculous. I am conjuring anvils and they shall rain like hailstorms from the sky…on Livingsocial and on Moo Moos. Thanks for ruining an awesome restaurant assholes. 

P.S. Oli also ordered Havaianas….which came 6 months after the deal was originally purchased…and after complaining to Livingsocial for months on end..

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Chaddy on racism and toilet hygiene.

I grew up in New Zealand in an area where there were very few Asians- so naturally, all my friends in the earlier stages of childhood were Caucasian. During primary school days…I would walk home and some kids from narrow-minded, xenophobic families would taunt ‘Ching Chong China-man’ calls at me whilst pulling their eyes to slant…I would pretend not to hear and continue walking home. In fact, on the first day of school….the kids decided it would be a good idea to steal my bag and hide it around the courtyard. When the bell rang for us to return to class…I sat outside on a bench and just balled my eyes out. It was then, my friend Shaun came up to me and handed me my bag…revealing where they had hid it. Thank you Shaun.

On other days, kids would steal my lunchbox and throw my mum’s dumplings at me…as they were used as weapons of “CHINESE FART BOMBS” (For those of you whom have never brought dumplings in a lunchbox to school….once you open the lid it actually does smell like you’ve unleashed a serious atomic fart).  So for me…it wasn’t easy to embrace my cultural heritage. I instead asked mum to make peanut butter or tuna sandwiches.
So from that point onwards, I devoted and worked my arse off to study English. I would set up base in the library with my friend Bronwen and we would read all lunch-break. I would go home and continue reading.

In year 1, with no command of the English language, I memorised the entire storybook after my teacher read it through once. At home, my parents thought I had learned to read English in one day. Until…they discovered my secret…. that if they had flipped to a random page…I would have to recite the entire story preceding it before I could read out the particular sentence.

In year 2, I began to finally grasp fluent English. I excelled in spelling and writing (above and beyond all those racist losers who teased me in year 1). Teachers would often pull me out of class to do extra work or to learn public speaking on the side. This is when my friend Miriam Gilbert …nominated me as her “best friend”.  Rest in peace beautiful girl. At the end of year Christmas nativity performances, I would be the one nominated to narrate the play…something which I was very proud of….as some of those racist losers had to be cows, horses, trees and other inanimate objects.

After that, I did make a few very understanding friends who would walk home with me…or we would play after school on playgrounds together.

Here are some cute photos of my friends and I…:)

Racism occurred throughout my childhood because those kids didn’t know any better. And I forgive you. All of you. *End self-pity story*

DISCLAIMER: If you’re wanting to read a heart-warming story of a little Asian girl who battled racism…then stop here and leave my page. The rest is not suitable for the overly-sensitive, nor for anyone with heart conditions, shortness of breath or anything else that may make you have a heart attack after reading the rest of this post…

And now to the catalyst for this blog post…..I was studying/napping at the Bioscience library…and then when Wayne woke me up….for “pizza time” as instructed (thanks dude!)….I zoomed off to the bathrooms and lined up ..where I witnessed the aftermath of how the Asian girl had left one of the cubicles….. absolutely annihilated by urine. OKAY I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT a little bit of urine on the seat…which can be rectified by the next user with a little wiping….but I am talking about..*GAG*….URINE ALL OVER THE SEAT…a pool of URINE ON THE FLOOR….and then spray everywhere on the back part of the toilet…..I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE SEEN A TOILET SO DISGUSTING. DID SHE PEE STANDING UP?!!!!!!!!!!!!   Everyone lining up….stared at her and then the toilet..and then back at her….but she was so oblivious that she walked off as if nothing unusual had happened.

And then it makes me wonder. WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE ARE RACIST AGAINST ASIANS? Fuck. At that point, even I was so embarrassed to have black hair and yellow skin.

A few years ago…I learned the reason why there are mysterious shoe-prints on toilet seats….and why some girls can pee without putting the toilet seat down. Many Asian girls pee squatting on top of the toilet seat…hence the cracked toilet seats in market square…. I can’t even squat on flat ground…let alone balance on top of a toilet seat…..Anyway…..to the girls who pollute our toilets…..

I don’t know how you pee at home…nor back in your native country..but here in Australia…. WE DO NOT PEE ALL OVER THE F*CKING TOILET CUBICLE. Please do not leave shoe-prints on the toilet seats…..masses of urine all over the floor….and we FLUSH THE TOILET. This is all basic courtesy and a bare minimum for bathroom etiquette. If you must squat…learn to aim somehow or something…and clean the up the bodily evidence before you leave. Leave the toilet clean for the next user. If you can’t respect these unspoken rules….please feel free to find your own tree to water or dig your own hole to excrete in.

Clean up your act. Keep our toilets clean!!!

fin.  

I’m Awkward.

Awesome Oli bought me these new additions to my zoo. And I’m a sucker for soft toys. I now have an awkward white elephant! He’s much smaller than I expected..because Oli bought me an awkward Octopus “Awktopus” a few months ago…and the elephant is almost half its size!  We made him more awkward by putting a lens bracelet around his trunk. hehe. …

WHY IS A WHITE ELEPHANT CONSIDERED AWKWARD????????????

Anyway,  in case you’re wondering why it is said that a white elephant is awkward, it is an idiom for an item of possession which is of value, but difficult to dispose of (and so it places a burden on the owner).

I’ve just come back from Thailand, where we were told many stories about the white elephant. White elephants are a symbol of power and justice and so they hold a sacred, royal status in Thailand. So the story goes (according to our tour guide)…that the King of Thailand (Formerly known as Siam) would gift a white elephant (valuable item) to someone in order to bestow upon them the burden and of costs and maintenance.  Apparently the King of Thailand currently owns 11 white elephants hidden away in his palace.  The locals gave me weird looks when I asked them how much it would cost to buy an elephant….. And most people gave me the same figure. It costs $30,000 USD to buy an adult elephant, and a little bit more for a baby one.  An elephant has to eat 150kg-270kg of veges a day (they are herbivores). And they drink around 150 Litres of water. The elephants at the elephant camp in Chiangmai were fed mini-bananas and sugar cane (tourists could purchase baskets to feed the elephants). So if I had an elephant in Australia…and I only fed it bananas ($8 per kilo), it would cost me at least $1200 AUD to feed it everyday…insane! So when I retire, I’m going to move to Thailand and have my own elephant farm. Yup.

And here are the rest of my new awkward animals- Awkward Frog + Elephant + Rhino

No animals were harmed in the making of this blog post! This was just for fun so don’t flame me for anything animal cruelty related. Or I’ll unleash a bag of obscenities at you.

You can purchase your very own Awkward Animal from http://awkwardanimals.com/

Rebecca & Scott

We have just returned from shooting a wedding in Thailand and I’ve barely had the time to look through the  photos we took let alone sort them out so I thought I would backtrack my blog a bit to show you my work from February. I had an amazing time working with Rebecca & Scott for this valentines-vintage inspired shoot 🙂 We went through quite a few outfits and the shoot only took 2 hours in total. Rebecca has told me that they’re going to print 6 of these photos on canvas prints to decorate their house with- so happy to hear this!

Props by Charmaine of  Kunstkammer (Cabinet of Curiosities) and Point of Difference