Music is just not up to scratch these days….

Whenever I’m stuck in traffic congestion…I either call a friend for a catch up conversation, or play A-Z naming games with myself (it’s such a cool game…you pick a topic..and then away you go! Topic is Animals: A is for Armadillo…B is for Bat, C is for Cat….how poetic of me!) But today driving home from the uni library at 9am…I was caught in some extreme traffic congestion. The type that is so slow that your friends get sick of trying to entertain you on the phone, and you’ve run out of brain juice for the naming game…So I had nothing else to do but to switch on my car radio and listen to what the world sounds like today.  And in all honesty, the world today sounds like shit. Admittedly, I’m not really trendy when it comes to music.  I don’t know who wins Grammy awards these days, I don’t know who One Direction is (apparently that’s a good thing)…..I barely recognise any of Rhianna’s songs…

I live under a rock ( a very biased and judgemental rock).

Under my little rock, I listen to legends like Michael Jackson, The Beatles…The Carpenters….Queen, The Doors, Prince,  GNR, David Bowie….The Rolling Stones…the good shit. Even the Spice Girls rocked ok?  I used to save up all my lunch money just so I could afford to add another Nirvana album to my collection. And so knowing that I’m a little narrow minded and behind on the times pop music wise…I decided to channel surf using the preset radio stations to survey the current charts.

The first thing I tune into is Nova 106.9fm….”Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby….girl I’m gonna show you how to do it…we start real slow put your lips together and come real close”

I’m sure the brainless lyrics don’t need much explanation. My ears are deeply disturbed. Very discreet there.

I had to do a double take…actually whilst stuck at the lights..I Shazam-ed the song on my iphone (for those of you not familiar with the application, it’s a really nifty thing to have you just hold your phone up to the music and a few seconds later it tells you the artist, song and album name)…so when I got home I looked up the lyrics above again…and confirmed that I wasn’t hearing things. It’s a song by Flo-Rida.

I now take back the previous statements about being judgemental and biased. If songs like these are any reflection of society’s current values…I’m more than just biased and judgemental…I’m more like…disgusted and disappointed with the direction in which society and popular culture is going. Now before you flame me for picking up one bad song….I did spend more than an hour and a half in the car (there was an accident on coronation drive this morning) sampling different channels.

So moving onto the next channel…B105fm self proclaimed ‘Brisbane’s Number One hit music station’. And I hear more rubbish…Zapped it on Shazam again and this time it’s ‘Scream’ by Usher…another brainless song filled with graphic sexual content…

“Thinkin bout what I’d do to that body…I’ll get you like ooh baby…Now relax and get onto your back. If you wanna scream yeah..Let me know and I’ll take you there”.

So tasteless. The rest of my trip home wasn’t too bearable…listening to stuff like ‘Call me maybe’ which played at least 5 times on the 4 different radio stations I was switching between….

It has nothing to do with the similarity in the genre of music criticised above. I love old school. Run DMC. I love MC Hammer. I love Brian Mcknight. I admire many different types of music. I don’t know that Usher nor Flo-Rida would fall into the same category as any of the above mentioned awesome-ness…..I don’t know how to categorise this new sort of music…It would probably best fit into the category of “shit music”.

I did come across one good station..97.3 where I heard the familiar “Would you hold my handddddd? If I saw you in heavennnnnnn?” Thank you Mr. Clapton for rescuing my ears. BUT doing a bit of browsing on the interweb, 97.3 fm  is a radio channel dedicated to playing music from the ’80s ,90s and NOW’. This probably only further endorses my point, that this decade has not produced any artist nor song that could match the generations of our parents and grandparents.

Would love to hear some suggestions which could convince me otherwise…that our offspring will never experience decent music. …That talent doesn’t mean shit-all any more for the music industry. If video killed the radio star…then auto-tune and a brainless new generation killed the entire future music industry… All you need now is a bunch of random sound effects combined with some graphic sexual lyrics and excessive use of auto-tune to make it onto the top of the charts.

Go on…prove me wrong. Help me find some current music that is worth listening to…

From-Chad-the-traumatised. xx


On why you should boycott Livingsocial…

Who doesn’t love a discount?? Especially if it’s for an expensive fine dining restaurant which you would normally have to save for special occasions! Well let me tell you why the discount isn’t worth it. …Last year we dined with a friend at Moo Moo’s Restaurant located at the Port Office, Stamford Plaza, Edward Street, Brisbane. We had a very good meal (Thanks Tammy) and vowed to return again. So it was only appropriate that when we saw the livingsocial deal online advertising for the following that our friend Terry purchased x2 $70 LivingSocial Vouchers….

The first time we used this voucher….we already felt as if we were treated as second-rate citizens. When I rang through to make a booking..the staff at Moo Moo informed me that we could not reserve an earlier sitting, and that “people with vouchers” must dine after 8pm. Okay…so we went and ate there…..and the rump was more than mediocre. We were introduced to a few upgraded options and were persuaded into purchasing more sides…Anyway that was the prequel to this full blown rant that I’m about to embark on….So the deadline was coming up this evening…and we had been calling Moo Moo for over a week to try and secure a booking.

On this particular evening (hop into the time machine and rewind to yesterday)….I phoned expecting nothing but the worst.

Staff: Moo Moo restaurant please hold *3 minute hold* Pause….please wait while I transfer your call to the  maître d‘hôtel. Another 4 minutes later….the phone drops and they have conveniently avoided me again by hanging up on me.

All I had said was that I wanted to make a booking for dinner on April 19.

When I did finally call through and speak to this almighty Maitre D (henceforth known as Almighty asshole for the purposes of venting my frustration)….it went something like this:

Chad: “Hi I would like to make a reservation for 4 people tomorrow”
Almighty Asshole: Certainly.  We have a sitting at 8pm available. Do you have a voucher?”
Chad: “Yes, it is a living social…..” *rude interjection by the Maitre D*

Almighty Asshole: “Sorry we don’t have any seats for people with vouchers.
Chad:  “How does that work? You have seats…but not for people with vouchers?”
Almighty Asshole: Well we have 133 people coming in to use vouchers tomorrow, everyone wants a seat tomorrow with a voucher. It’s not just you okay?”
Chad: “So you’ve oversold the amount of tickets for which you have capacity for….????? What am I meant to do? I’ve already paid for my voucher!”
Almighty Asshole: “It’s not our problem. Call livingsocial”
Chad: “okay…and there’s nothing you can do about it?”
Almighty Asshole *beep* ….hangs up the phone.

So the next part of the story…is that I called up Livingsocial and spoke with a man named Christian. I know that there is no use in trying to shoot the messenger…and that he is a normal guy..trying to get on with his job…but I was really peeved and really needed to yell at someone. Christian explained to me that the restaurant has the “discretion to allocate seats to a particular volume of customers with vouchers per day”. So technically, they have the discretion to refuse to serve ANY customers with vouchers on ANY and EVERY given day that the offer is valid for. This was confirmed by Christian, who added that “Moo moo only gets paid for every voucher that is USED”. But what incentive is it? For a fine dining restaurant to receive a portion of $70 for 4 people breathing their oxygen, peeing in their toilets, playing with their Dyson hand-dryers….and eating inferior meat?? When on a regular day, people would pay much more than $70 just for a serving of mains for dinner? Christian also mentioned to me that an investigation into the matter would not be possible as it is too close to the expiration date of the voucher (which is synonymous with the termination of their contract with Moo Moo). WTF?!  So anyone who happens to miss out on a booking near the end of the deal...TOO BAD? GO EAT YOUR PRINTED OUT VOUCHER AND PRETEND IT’S A PIECE OF RUMP?! In 3 working days we will see if they will be clever enough to honour us a refund.

This is not fair. This is plain ridiculous. I am conjuring anvils and they shall rain like hailstorms from the sky…on Livingsocial and on Moo Moos. Thanks for ruining an awesome restaurant assholes. 

P.S. Oli also ordered Havaianas….which came 6 months after the deal was originally purchased…and after complaining to Livingsocial for months on end..

Chaddy on racism and toilet hygiene.

I grew up in New Zealand in an area where there were very few Asians- so naturally, all my friends in the earlier stages of childhood were Caucasian. During primary school days…I would walk home and some kids from narrow-minded, xenophobic families would taunt ‘Ching Chong China-man’ calls at me whilst pulling their eyes to slant…I would pretend not to hear and continue walking home. In fact, on the first day of school….the kids decided it would be a good idea to steal my bag and hide it around the courtyard. When the bell rang for us to return to class…I sat outside on a bench and just balled my eyes out. It was then, my friend Shaun came up to me and handed me my bag…revealing where they had hid it. Thank you Shaun.

On other days, kids would steal my lunchbox and throw my mum’s dumplings at me…as they were used as weapons of “CHINESE FART BOMBS” (For those of you whom have never brought dumplings in a lunchbox to school….once you open the lid it actually does smell like you’ve unleashed a serious atomic fart).  So for me…it wasn’t easy to embrace my cultural heritage. I instead asked mum to make peanut butter or tuna sandwiches.
So from that point onwards, I devoted and worked my arse off to study English. I would set up base in the library with my friend Bronwen and we would read all lunch-break. I would go home and continue reading.

In year 1, with no command of the English language, I memorised the entire storybook after my teacher read it through once. At home, my parents thought I had learned to read English in one day. Until…they discovered my secret…. that if they had flipped to a random page…I would have to recite the entire story preceding it before I could read out the particular sentence.

In year 2, I began to finally grasp fluent English. I excelled in spelling and writing (above and beyond all those racist losers who teased me in year 1). Teachers would often pull me out of class to do extra work or to learn public speaking on the side. This is when my friend Miriam Gilbert …nominated me as her “best friend”.  Rest in peace beautiful girl. At the end of year Christmas nativity performances, I would be the one nominated to narrate the play…something which I was very proud of….as some of those racist losers had to be cows, horses, trees and other inanimate objects.

After that, I did make a few very understanding friends who would walk home with me…or we would play after school on playgrounds together.

Here are some cute photos of my friends and I…:)

Racism occurred throughout my childhood because those kids didn’t know any better. And I forgive you. All of you. *End self-pity story*

DISCLAIMER: If you’re wanting to read a heart-warming story of a little Asian girl who battled racism…then stop here and leave my page. The rest is not suitable for the overly-sensitive, nor for anyone with heart conditions, shortness of breath or anything else that may make you have a heart attack after reading the rest of this post…

And now to the catalyst for this blog post…..I was studying/napping at the Bioscience library…and then when Wayne woke me up….for “pizza time” as instructed (thanks dude!)….I zoomed off to the bathrooms and lined up ..where I witnessed the aftermath of how the Asian girl had left one of the cubicles….. absolutely annihilated by urine. OKAY I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT a little bit of urine on the seat…which can be rectified by the next user with a little wiping….but I am talking about..*GAG*….URINE ALL OVER THE SEAT…a pool of URINE ON THE FLOOR….and then spray everywhere on the back part of the toilet…..I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE SEEN A TOILET SO DISGUSTING. DID SHE PEE STANDING UP?!!!!!!!!!!!!   Everyone lining up….stared at her and then the toilet..and then back at her….but she was so oblivious that she walked off as if nothing unusual had happened.

And then it makes me wonder. WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE ARE RACIST AGAINST ASIANS? Fuck. At that point, even I was so embarrassed to have black hair and yellow skin.

A few years ago…I learned the reason why there are mysterious shoe-prints on toilet seats….and why some girls can pee without putting the toilet seat down. Many Asian girls pee squatting on top of the toilet seat…hence the cracked toilet seats in market square…. I can’t even squat on flat ground…let alone balance on top of a toilet seat…..Anyway… the girls who pollute our toilets…..

I don’t know how you pee at home…nor back in your native country..but here in Australia…. WE DO NOT PEE ALL OVER THE F*CKING TOILET CUBICLE. Please do not leave shoe-prints on the toilet seats…..masses of urine all over the floor….and we FLUSH THE TOILET. This is all basic courtesy and a bare minimum for bathroom etiquette. If you must squat…learn to aim somehow or something…and clean the up the bodily evidence before you leave. Leave the toilet clean for the next user. If you can’t respect these unspoken rules….please feel free to find your own tree to water or dig your own hole to excrete in.

Clean up your act. Keep our toilets clean!!!